Before Red Rock, metal had a home in Colorado thanks to South Park. Trey Parker and Matt Stone have brought metal legends into some of South Park‘s most beloved episodes, immortalizing our favorite acts as paper cut-out cartoon characters.
The goth kids burning down a Hot Topic was pretty metal, but all these moments include musicians or music. Whether it’s Korn unraveling a spooky mystery or Slayer casting out legions of smelly hippies, these are the most metal moments in South Park history.
This is the GOAT of metal cameos on any TV show. When Korn aren’t da-boom-da-da-mmm-dum-na-ee-ma-ing onstage, they’re apparently solving mysteries like a nü-metal Scooby-Doo. Korn didn’t just save the day in “Korn‘s Groovy Pirate Ghost Mystery,” they showed off their combined Korn powers and jammed “Falling Away From Me” to a captive audience of South Park residents. This is art.
Stan, Kenny, Butters and Jimmy… by their powers combined, they’re Crimson Dawn. The boys became Colorado’s finest death metal band in Season 23 of South Park, even if they didn’t get the fanfare they deserved. Hilariously, Trey Parker and Matt Stone used real death metal from Death Decline and Dying Fetus for this episode, making sure Crimson Dawn would always sound sick as fuck.
Ozzy Osbourne did a good deed by performing at Chef Aid, but immediately undid all his good karma by biting the head off Kenny. “Chef Aid” was a who’s who of awesome artists, with Elton John, Ween, Meat Loaf and more coming together to support the man who made their careers possible.
“Darkness fills my heart with pain.” Timmy and the Lords of the Underworld were South Park’s first great original act. They won the town’s Battle of the Bands, getting an opportunity to open for Phil Collins, who South Park mercilessly decimated through hilarious character assassination throughout the “Timmy 2000” episode.
The South Park kids didn’t know how lucky they were. In one of the most random appearances in South Park history, Ronnie James Dio and his band performed at the South Park Elementary school dance. The kids casually dancing to “Holy Diver” remains one of the most surreal moments we’ve ever seen.
During the free downloading crisis that nearly shipwrecked the music industry, South Park brought in Metallica to join Kyle, Stan and Kenny on their strike against Napster. South Park didn’t paint Lars Ulrich as the pseudo-supervillian of the age, but they poke a little fun at James Hetfield’s singing style. Yeah-eah!
Remember that tripped out ’80s animated movie Heavy Metal? South Park made an entire fucking episode based around it. After Kenny discovers a new high from sniffing cat urine, he gets transported to a Heavy Metal realm to ride rocket cars with giant-titted space women.
While South Park’s fathers were casually getting shitfaced and messing around with witchcraft, Iron Maiden’s “The Number of the Beast” was used to set the perfect mood. Fun fact: “Iron Maiden” was originally the name of Timmy’s superhero character for the “Coon & Friends” story arc.
Want to get legions of annoying hippies to leave your town? Just blast fucking Slayer and watch as their buzz is killed. “Hippies can’t stand death metal,” Cartman poignantly said while pitching his plan, which worked perfectly as it was set into motion. A good deed from Cartman? There’s a first for everything.
God bless Van Halen. Christians, Jews and Muslims all came together under the symbol of Van Halen, immediately ending all conflict in the Middle East. Van Halen themselves would perform to celebrate the momentous occasion, turning Israel into “the happiest, rockinest place to be.”
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